January 2010
“I felt like crying but nothing came out. it was just a sort of sad sickness,...”
– Charles Bukowski (via jeanniepak) (via spermdump) (via nyred) (via vild) (via funeral)
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i am over awards shows
i will learn about anything controversial that occurs via tumblr without having to sit through all the embarrassing wardrobe disasters, shitty jokes and barf-worthy speeches.
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Evan: I thought you said the apple bakes were disgusting.
Kandace: They are! But the calories! Or... lack thereof.
Evan: That's ridiculous.
Kandace: What's ridiculous is the amount of calories in food these days. I can't eat anything with too many calories, I have a mild allergy.
Evan: So if you eat too many calories do you get like a rash or something?
Kandace: Yes. I get a horrible rash that covers my entire body. It's called cellulite.
Evan: You could make loads of money from a cure for cellulite. A-listers everywhere would create mini shrines to you in their ensuite bathrooms.
Kandace: To cure cellulite you have to sacrifice a newborn in a high-end department store whilst wearing a silk gown. No A-listers are prepared to do that.
Evan: Hm, I see your point. I bet not even Victoria Beckham could kill a baby just to look good.
Kandace: Who cares about the children? Blood stains are impossible to get out silk!
Evan: How's Tumblr?
Kandace: Fine. Same old stuff. Models, models, photos, hipsters, some horse-talk. I hate horses. They're far too large to have such delicate nerves and they smell awful. The only good thing about them is that men-horses are apparently well-endowed but bestiality isn't my thing. Besides, I think it would be very difficult to have sex with a horse... and it might be illegal.
Evan: ...
DOES ANYONE KNOW WHERE I CAN WATCH LAGERFELD CONFIDENTIAL ONLINE?
or am i actually going to have to pay for this movie…
i wonder how long it will be until disney buys out...
and then makes everyone pay taxes for living.
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HOWL IS EVEN GOOD-LOOKING AS A GIANT MAN-BIRD.
WHAT.
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formspring.me
crackbox:fuckyeahpyts:
WHYDONTYOULIKEGAGABITCH?
Haha well where do I start? Lady Gaga is supposed to be this new & creative person who’s the “future” of music. She’s not. People are brainwashed. Her singing is horrible. She thinks she’s hott shit and to me, she comes off as vain and overly confident. She thinks that she’s some creative and inspiring person who’s starting some new...
i can now understand why people hate jeggings
because there are two types of jeggings.
type one
jean-coloured leggings. made of legging material. basically leggings. really gross if not worn with a dress or a tunic.
type two
super-tight jeans. made of denim. basically jeans. but stores call them jeggings too. these can actually be worn with normal t-shirts as they’re not jeggings, not see-through and they basically look like jeans...
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HOWL'S MOVING CASTLE
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doe-eyes:
i’m off to watch heathers. i may be back. or not
signs i am going crazy
read that as “i may be black”
was very confused for a moment
freaked out - “EDEN’S BLACK?!!”
reread
“ohhh.”
typing like an idiot is fun
i mean
typun lyk a idot iz gr8
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@kaydoubleyou,
dreeandthemachine:
dreeisthename@aol.com
send me the review to my email.
sent it! :)
solacemygame:
my local paper’s front page story is about sheep that got killed by an unknown animal, detectives are investigating lololol. and then there was a big story about a fireman who retired. and a whole page for the development plans in the town centre.
watford is so interesting
IT WAS A WILD HOMO
…SASQUATCHES
if i had a band
i would call it “HXC LUV 4EVA BAND”. or something equally stupid. stupid band names that are purposely stupid are the best.
whatbekkidid-deactivated2011112 asked: LOOK BEHIND YOUUU!
http://27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_kx32ewrXsz1qa6btco1_500.jpg
http://27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_kx32ewrXsz1qa6btco1_500.jpg
when a really pretty girl on tumblr
buildcoffins:
‘likes’ a picture of me, i just think woah, ok.. :’)
when anyone “likes” a picture of me i just assume that they are enjoying the general oddness of my face or the witty caption underneath the picture.
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WHAT'S YOUR HOBBY?
TAKING PHOTOGRAPHS WITH EVERYTHING THAT IS EVEN REMOTELY FAMOUS AND BREATHING.
go to
logicofthetrance:joejonascrotchshot:brittnijonas:
flickr.com and type in ‘the stalkers’ name
sarahmonline
look. at. who she met. EVERY IN HOLLYWOOD!
i can’t get over this. i guess that’s what u get for living in LA.
I guess that’s what you get for being a CREEPTASTIC STALKER.
Seriously, she should give stalker lessons. She would make bank.
she’s constantly stalking that she has no...
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